Gratitude with the Unknown


I sit in my sister’s family room on a rainy Saturday night thinking about the happenings of the last week.

Picture it: Last Thursday night, I lay down for a nap because school is tiring. I wake up with a fever…chills and aches. Ah the flu is upon me. I am thankful for the heat pumping through my house as I lay on my couch with a blanket wafting the warm heat up to me.

I make my way upstairs with little energy and hope my kids go to bed on their own. I have layered blankets on my bed and have downed a few ibuprofen. I sleep as best I can between my frequent awakenings. I am to present with my good friend the next day at our district’s PD day but when I awake in the morning, I attempt to take shower only to exit after a minute or two.

I muster up enough energy to call my doctor (gynecologist) due to some breast pain. My mom drives me to the doctor and I am examined. It is determined that I have the flu and a suspicious spot in my left breast. I am grateful for a mom who is willing to drop what she’s doing to take care of me.

I am scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound the following Tuesday. My husband takes me to my appointments and waits so patiently for me to return. My husband is a man of very few words but I know he’s concerned and being as supportive as he knows. I am told I need to have a follow up biopsy due to some enlarged lymph nodes in my right under arm. The other suspicious lumps were determined to be cysts…praise the Lord.

My mom is my doctor chauffeur again as I travel downtown to get my biopsy. I first meet with a breast specialist who confirms the enlarged nodes and tells me that I’ll be heading across the hall for the biopsy. I get into my fancy gown for the procedure, this time remembering not to wear a dress but pants. The lady helping me with the beginnings of this day must have sensed my nervousness because she gave me a hug and told me it would be okay. Just what I needed!

I am brought back to the biopsy room and Amanda takes care of me. She was wonderful and had me forgetting why I was there…kinda. I am prepared for the biopsy and the doctor comes in to take the samples. I lay still and keep my eyes closed the entire time. Who needs to see what all the tools look like…I hear it and that is all that matters.

He takes three samples then decides after looking at the sample under the microscope, that he needs another. He takes the forth then places the clip in the site. The clip will remain in my lymph node as a reminder of the biopsy site for future reference.

Now the waiting game…I wait patiently for the doctor to call on either Tuesday or Wednesday. The doctors feel that it will be benign/reactive. I too am hoping that it is nothing. I know if it turns out to be something else, I will have a great support system around me.

I am grateful for the people in my life and those who I have yet to meet.